Confessions of a Professional Runner

That time I had to stop and tie my shoe, my shoelaces were fine, I just need a rest.

That time I said I’d do abs “later” I am still in debt those abs

I get tired on the warm up. 

I counted my strides in my weekly mileage.

I didn’t stop my watch at the stop light and counted it in my running time. 

I jumped up on the first pull up and counted it.

I have eaten a Dunkin' Donuts croissan'wich for breakfast every time I competed at Penn Relays. 

I didn’t really need to stop and stretch my calf on that long run.

 I considered my bike commute as my cross train for the day.

When you told me to bike, I went to Zumba instead.

I touched my toes for 10 seconds and counted it as stretching.

I  watched 3 hours of Dexter with a drug tester because I knocked over my partial pee cup.

I hate GPS watches. 

There was no traffic the day I was late to practice. 

I walked the cool down.